My Most Disappointing Movies of 2016

It is that time of the year again where I pretend to be some serious entertainment critic and share a list of my favourites, and disappoints of the year. I guess it also helps to provide some form of content on my rather quiet blog…

 

2016 was a strange year for me in terms of movies since I was able to actually go to the cinema to watch a lot of these movies.

 

I always like to start these post series with the negative, so here is my list for the most disappointing 2016 releases I saw this year.

 

*Note: There are probably movies that are supposed to be on this list, but since I am a person that has limited time, I have not seen every damn movie that came out this year. Also, if the movie looked like crap to begin with, I have avoided it. Also, the numbering of these movies doesn’t determine how much I disliked them. They are simply jus there to have some form of order.

 

1.  Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (Theatrical release)

 

Oooh boy. I have probably triggered some DC fanboy by having this on my list…

 

Never have I walked out of a cinema so confused before. Apart from having a hard time trying to figure what the fuck was going on in the movie, I had a hard time debating with myself whether or not I liked the movie. But, in the end, as a fan of DC, I was disappointed by this dark dreary tale of a billionaire dressed like a bat fighting an alien that has powerful abilities.

 

There is a lot I liked about it, and a lot I hated about this movie. I loved Ben Affleck’s performance as Batman and I hate Jesse Eisenberg’s performance as Lex Luthor. I hated that they shoved three movies worth of material into this one pile of a dreary mess. I could go on and on… I was just disappointed. I was hoping for a movie that explores the differences in these two heroes philosophies. Instead, the movie tried to be way smarter than what it was with the whole “God versus Man” argument. It was like a steroid ridden jock putting on a pair of glasses and then pretending to be a geek.

 

I enjoyed the Ultimate Edition more since it fixed a lot of the plot problems and pacing problems of the theatrical edition, but all in all it was a “meh” movie filled with great moments and some horrible ones.

 

2. Swiss Army Man

 

Avoid this sticking pile of shit at all costs. Like seriously.

 

This movie had one of the funniest concepts I have seen in my life and I couldn’t wait to see bow they would explore the idea of a corpse being like a Swiss army knife. Sadly, it was far from funny and it tried to be full of itself.  

 

Instead of this movie going crazy with its’ unique and awesome idea it became dull and boring as it explored the “friendship” that gets developed between these two men. The whole “Swiss army” thing simply becomes a gimmick and rarely explored upon.

 

I really hate this movie for deceiving me, like seriously.

 

3. Blair Witch

 

If you have read my favourite horror movies of all time list so far, I mentioned that I loved the Blair Witch Project and how it played with your psychology by building this tense creepy atmosphere that the characters have to live in. If you haven’t read that list you can read it here (http://geekcorner.thoughts.com/posts/my-favourite-horror-movies).

 

Blair Witch on the otherhand decided to take it, use it as toilet paper and hand it back to you. I was really looking forward to the rebirth of the Blair Witch legend,  and boy, did this pile of shit prevent that from happening.

 

Unlike the original, Blair Witch relied on jump scares to scare you. It also decided to play on the paranormal aspect of the original and go crazy with it, which I admire their bravery, but I was not a fan of the way it came out. They also showed the Blair Witch in the form of some crappily cgi monster. Like seriously, fuck you movie. They just did so much wrong with this movie.

 

I was heavily disappointed in it. I was genuinely hoping it would end up being awesome. Horror has been having it rough lately and I would love to see it back to form.

 

4. The Jungle Book

 

This is probably the most controversial movie in this list since so many people praised it and loved it. I on the other hand felt like it was lifeless and bland.

 

The animated Jungle Book movie is weirdly enough one of the few animated Disney movies that I actually love and hold dear to my heart. It had so much personality and was pretty dark for an animated children’s film.

 

The 2016 live Adaptation looked like it was going to be even more mature and perhaps a bit darker… boy was I wrong.

 

The Jungle Book ended up being your typical modern Disney movie. It felt too safe, didn’t take risks and felt like all the choices was made by a committee of sexually frustrated soccer moms. Even Idris Elba’s performance as Shere Khan was bland and lifeless. It was like all the personality that made the animated film great was sucked out and was replaced by security tape to ensure maximum profit. It felt like it had received the Marvel treatment.

 

I really hate Disney, even if they seem to be fixing Star Wars up and created Pirates of The Caribbean.

 

5. Zoolander 2

 

admit that I find the original Zoolander movie to be a guilty pleasure of mine. I don’t k now why, I just love it.

 

Zoolander 2 is complete and utter crap. It was cringeworthy at best. It was predictable, and unfunny. I could go on and on why I found this movie to be such a disappointment but I am honestly too lazy and this post has reached over a thousand words. I have probably lost most readers four hundred words ago. Zoolander 2 was a sequel nobody needed and nobody wanted. 

 

Well those were my most disappointing movies of 2016. Not only was the year bad in general but it was crap in terms of movies too… Now on to my favourites of 2016…

 

Xander

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Comments (3)

  1. JustALier

    I saw Swiss Army Man with a few friends and when the movie was done I was like “this is the worst movie I have ever seen” but my friends loved it. I’m glad to see you agree with me!

    January 02, 2017
    1. Bloodlust-Prince

      It was the closest I have come to committing suicide while watching a movie. It was fucking awful. Beautiful cinematography and score, but still a shitty movie.

      January 02, 2017
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    May 18, 2017